Relationships

Much has been written about relationships. It is said that marriage is good for health, and divorce is a major stress - as stressful as losing someone because they have died. While much has been written on marital relationships, the authors of such books may not have a solid basis for their advice. I, too, am no expert in this area. But it does seem that advice that is based on research is better than that which is based on catchy phrases and buzz words. One impressive researcher is Dr. John Gottman, who together with his wife, has studied marital relationships for years. They observe couples in the "Love Lab" - a cross between a weekend get-away to an apartment and a therapeutic intervention, where the couple's every move is video-taped, analyzed and scored for a variety of behaviors. Dr. Gottman is able to predict with greater than 90 per cent accuracy, whether a couple will stay together after about five minutes of observation. You will notice that there are links to sites about people or issues that are described in this website. Also, for your convenience, there are links to Amazon.com for the books on the topics mentioned at this site. Dr. Gottman emphasizes getting to know your spouse, the importance of admiration, the benefits of turning toward each other in little ways every day, allowing your partner to influence you, and other findings of his research, which began in 1972. For more information, see the links to books by Dr. Gottman on the right. Here is an interesting site on marital relationships, which has a mix of scientifically based and other approaches.